My head had been working a lot lately.. And my thoughts are killing me. I'm clueless of what to do, and everyday seems to get tougher than ever.
Who's to blame on this things ? Should I blame myself, or should I blame you ? or should I blame the distance between us ?
What do I do what you always make me feel like giving up ? hmm.. or you actually really want me to give up ? who knows.
But.... My patience is really high, and I don't get angry or burst into anger and shout at people even when I feel REALLY, REALLY down. But, everything got it's own limit. Don't cross the line, this I beg you.
People always expect us to understand them. Understand their feelings, understand the way they roll, understand their likes and dislikes. Ya ka ? Begitu kan selalunya ? Damn. I just can't do that.
But in life, THE ONLY constant thing that will keep on happening is CHANGE.
People change, from time to time. Whether we like it or not, it's what we have to go through in life.
It's tiring to keep up with people's changes. Sometimes the changes hurt us to the deepest, but we still have to accept them the way they are because we realize that no matter what we do, we'll never get them back the way they used to be.
Bole ka saya cakap saya alone ? Cannot lah juga. Cause mom, dad, sistas, and bros are always there for me. catching me up when I fell down. Wiping my tears when I cry.
Tapi at this point, when they're far, far away from me, I feel so alone. Bodoooh punya feeling. Haish.
Can somebody save me from the loneliness ? Grr. macam desperate pula, and loneliness loneliness ni bukan my kind of thing lahh, tapi still I want to cakap here cause I feel soooooo damn lonely .
and YOU make it worst. hate that fact.
So many words spoken, but I can't seem to understand a word I am saying cause my body is here, but my heart and mind is wandering somewhere else.
Memories. memories. It's playing like a film without sound in my mind . Late at night, the faces of those persons I love in my life will appear. I can see clearly the way they laugh, the times we cried and everything we've been through together. Tears come rolling down my face. aww. I miss them. I really miss them... I meann.. reaaallly, really, badly missing them.
I remember this one time, I made a promise with this person.. I said, " satu hari nanti kita pegi baring-baring tengah padang, tengok bintang,k ?" and until now, I haven't got any chance to do that with her. And as time keeps running by, as we grow older, it's seem that we have no chance @ no time to do it. But I'm really sure she haven't forgotten that little promise we made as she never did forget the memories we created together :) Hopefully one day soon we'll have time to make it come true.
My feelings, my mind are so messed up right now. I wish I can go somewhere peaceful and have time for myself without having to think bout others. Macam selfish lahh. But who cares ? It's my life, I'll do whatever I want. After all, kan kau cakap kau x mau sda smuaa ?
Ohh.. It hurts me so deep. But if you really want to play games with me, darling, I'm on ! GAME ON !
Ohh, so you say I don't have feeling ?
heh.
No feeling ? Maybe you never know me after all. Have you forgotten that I kept it all inside ?
siapa yang x kenal siapa ? siapa yang x dapat trima siapa ?
grr.
